When Vanessa speaks about her past, she does so with a calm and steady resolve. She has lived through more in three decades than many do in a lifetime: childhood neglect, early substance use, homelessness, devastating loss, and the unrelenting weight of trauma. Yet, sitting at the child-sized table in the Portis Family Home playroom with her young son, Sully, drifting off in her arms, what shines through most is her quiet determination to give her children a life better than her own.
“I’m one of eleven kids,” she said. “My siblings basically raised me because my mom left on my seventh birthday and my dad wasn’t around much.” Growing up, stability was scarce. Her older siblings used substances openly in the house, and so by nine years old, Vanessa was rolling joints and drinking beers hidden beneath her bed. “I thought it was normal,” she admits.
“What’s kept me sober? My kids,” she said. “My kids and my pride… I’ve lost 30 friends and family members to addiction. I’m the last one still fighting.”
In a home defined by chaos, substances became her coping mechanism long before she understood what coping meant. She was declared an alcoholic by age 11, expelled from school after school, and closed off to the world around her. “I can’t even say I was sad or hurt,” she reflects. “I spent my time doing what I could to numb myself, to just survive.”
Amidst the instability, one sister became her lifeline. “She was more of a mother to me than my own mother. Every time life took a turn, she took me in.” Vanessa lived with her until graduating from high school, a rare stretch of stability that helped her enter adulthood.
Motherhood strengthened that spark. After suffering from a miscarriage, the pregnancy of her oldest son shifted something in her. “I was like, I’m keeping this baby. I lost one already, and that broke me.” She stayed sober for six years. She gave birth to a second child, a daughter. She built a career at the YMCA, rising from childcare staff to camp director. And she worked tirelessly to create a good life for her children.
But addiction is rarely linear. A car accident, prescription opioids, loss, and unsafe relationships pulled her into cycles of relapse. Vanessa survived suicide attempts, domestic instability, and four grueling years living on Mass Ave. She told us, “That relapse led me down a really dark path. It was four years of hell being out there. So much trauma. So much death. I was scared every day.”
Despite it all, Vanessa held on to hope and a determination to rebuild for her children, especially when she learned she was pregnant once again. “I had to do right by my kids. I had to get myself somewhere stable so I could raise my son and be there for my older kids,” she said. “That’s how I found Portis, and it saved my life. It gave me a safe place to raise my son…To figure out my next steps.”
Today, Vanessa is a gentle, devoted mother to her youngest, Sully. Throughout the interview, he curled into her lap, slept in her arms, and ran to her for reassurance. At one point, he tugged her arm and asked, “Momma, are you happy?” She smiled, kissed his hand, and said, “Yes, Momma’s happy. Are you happy?” He nodded, “I’m happy with Momma.”
Vanessa has now been sober for two and a half years. She volunteers at a local recovery center, runs recovery meetings at Portis Family Home, and is working toward becoming a recovery coach. She travels daily from Jamaica Plain to South Boston so Sully can attend preschool. And though she made the painful decision to keep her older children living with their father to preserve their routines, she sees them every weekend. “Seamus loves that he finally has a younger brother,” she laughs. “I love watching the three of them hang out together. There’s nothing better than that.”
Vanessa and Sully recently secured housing in South Boston: a place that feels like a fresh start and brings her closer to her children and her hope.
To other mothers navigating recovery, her message is clear: “It’s worth it. Worth it for your kids. Worth it for you. Because if you don’t take care of yourself, there’s no way you can take care of them.”
Today, Vanessa is not just surviving, she’s building a life rooted in safety, love, and possibility. For the first time, she is learning what it means to feel happy. And Sully sees it, too.
Vanessa’s story originally appeared in the 2025 Winter Edition of The Doorway.